#14 The Thought Model
Capture and tame your thoughts to reduce your weight and improve your life
Georgia is a physician who is required to see an enormous number of patients each day. She feels stressed, like she can’t keep up. She feels guilty that there are patients in the waiting room because she’s always behind by about half an hour. She thinks, “What’s wrong with me? Other doctors handle it. I’m incompetent.” After work she habitually goes to the drive-thru and eats French fries. It reverses some of the progress she is making on her diet and her weight is stuck on a plateau. She feels frustrated and defeated.
Sam is in her late sixties and is proud to have lost 12 pounds in the last couple of years bringing her very close to her ideal goal weight. Recently, she hurt her back and has to lay off her usual exercise for a while. The scale is up about three pounds. She is freaking out. She thinks, “Is it the lack of exercise? What should I do? I need to restrict.” She feels panic and frustration. Then she exercises more than she’s supposed to, probably delaying her recovery and not helping the reading on the scale.
Could it be that if either of these women could harness their thoughts and change them, they could have better outcomes?
Scientists say that we have 60,000 thoughts per day and something like 90% are negative! (It’s referred to as “negative bias.”) We often remain unaware of most of these thoughts as they reside just below our conscious awareness. Some could be sabotaging our efforts to improve our lives or, in particular, to lose weight or improve our eating behaviors.
This blog post will teach you a method for capturing some of those thoughts which sabotage you and will suggest how to turn them around into thoughts that help you achieve your goals. This system has worked for many people for weight loss as well as for other aspects of life.
This method, known widely as “the thought model,” originates with cognitive-behavioral therapy, was influenced by Buddhist practitioner Byron Katie, and was tweaked and taught widely by Brooke Castillo, a fabulous coach whose work I highly recommend. Like so many techniques, it’s simple, but not easy. It takes some reflection and work (journaling) but if used regularly it really pays off.
It involves five parts:
Circumstances
Thoughts
Feelings
Actions
Results
The premise is that circumstances lead to thoughts. Thoughts lead to feelings. Feelings lead to actions. And actions determine results. If we can capture all of this on paper, we may be able to intervene for the better by changing our thoughts, which are the driver of this chain of events. First, let’s define each part.
Circumstances: a situation in the world, stated with complete neutrality
This refers to what’s actually going on. It’s a fact, with no judgments or feelings. Purely rational, objective. Some define it as a sentence that is “stated like you would in a court of law”.
Thoughts: what you are thinking about the circumstances
It can be a judgment, a belief, a story you are telling yourself. The tricky thing is that often the thought feels like the truth, like something objective, so people mistakenly put it in the “circumstance” section. So you need to ask yourself, “is it a neutral fact?” Look for adjectives or judgments in your statements. If it includes one of those, it is a thought. Your thoughts determine your feelings.
Feelings: a one-word descriptor of an emotion
There are usually three or four main feelings you can identify. The problem is, we are not used to really noticing or owning our feelings. Most of us would benefit greatly from becoming more aware of them as they are happening. To practice actually feeling our feelings. (If you’re new to this exploration, search online for “feelings wheel” or “list of feelings” to get acquainted with the wide range of terms that show subtle distinctions among different feelings.) Your feelings determine your actions.
Actions: what you choose to do about the situation
Actions include not only action per se but also reactions and inactions. The more you use this system, the more you’ll see how strongly your feelings drive your actions. And then, your actions determine your results.
Results: the outcomes that are generated by the actions
You might like your results, and you might not.
Using the thought model as a technique involves two steps: first you write out how things are now using the five steps. You can start anywhere in the five steps, depending what comes up first. Ask yourself, “What’s bothering me?” and then put that in the category where it belongs. It does matter that you put it in the right place. Then fill out the other four parts to reflect a complete story.
After you have a 5-step model, you write what’s usually called an “intentional” model of the situation, replacing material in the “thoughts” section with ideas that will ultimately lead to feelings, actions, and results that you like better.
A side note, with depth, here: It is highly advisable to insert an in-between step, after writing down the “current” model and the “intentional” (improved) one. I call this the “working through,” a term borrowed from the world of psychotherapy. It’s a pause in which you process the entire situation that the model reveals to you. This is the whole point, actually. You want to learn something about yourself from the work. Depending on the person and the situation this pause can last from hours to days to months, and vary in depth.
If you feel a bit confused at this point, don’t worry. It’s hard to describe but once you practice doing a model you will start to see its power.
Let’s look at some examples. Returning to our two friends Georgia and Sam, we will see how they might use the thought model to improve their situations.
Georgia’s Current Model
Circumstances
I’m a doctor having a busy day. Doctors here are required to see 20 patients/day.
Thoughts
I can’t keep up.
I won’t get it all done.
I’m not as good as the other doctors who seem calm and cool.
I’m bad.
I’m an imposter.
Feelings
stressed, overwhelmed, defeated, resentful, unable to focus, not good enough
Actions
The work somehow does get done, though I’m having to carry home patient folders to finish my notes. On the way home, I go to the drive-thru and eat a large order of French fries even though I’m going to cook dinner when I get home.
Results
My overwhelm proves I’m an inferior doctor.
I gain weight or at least undermine all the work I’m doing on my plan to lose weight.
In writing things down, Georgia sees that her stop at the drive-thru is not “random,” not a sign that she “lacks willpower” or is “bad” or incompetent at “dieting.” Now she can see that it’s a direct result of the stress she’s experiencing in her job day to day. Also, by analyzing the situation on paper, she sees her actual work as a doctor differently: she concludes she’s doing really well under the circumstances and somehow does get all the work done.
Then she rewrites the “story,” attempting to replace the material in the “thoughts” section to see if she could think different thoughts to try to inspire a different set of feelings, actions, and results.
Georgia’s Intentional Model
(it’s nice to use a different colored pen in your journal for this.)
Circumstances
the same
Thoughts (As a prompt, ask yourself, “What could I think instead that would serve me better than those negative thoughts?”)
I can be calm and focus on one task at a time.
I always come through in the end.
It’s ok if I’m running a bit late. All the doctors are.
Actually, I’m doing an awesome job!
(Notice that these statements can be neutral, or very positive like the last one. The goal is to make them feel true enough to you that you can at least “try them on” to help you change the situation. This technique is NOT promoting “toxic positivity.”)
Feelings (Ask yourself, “What might I feel if I had those more positive thoughts?”)
in control, grounded, calm
Actions
I experience no cravings for junk food. I eat my bag lunch of healthy foods and feel satisfied and good.
Results
I get my work done, leave work feeling pretty good, don’t take files home, and continue to succeed on my weight loss journey.
Granted, this method takes practice. You have to build awareness of what you’re thinking, as it happens so fast sometimes that it’s hard to “catch.” Also, it takes reflection to realize how those thoughts are actually affecting you. Be patient with yourself! It’s worth it.
If it’s tough for you to think more self-compassionate thoughts, one method is to imagine what you would say to a friend if the friend came to you and told you that this was happening in their life. We can use our natural empathy for others and turn it toward ourselves to improve our situations.
Now let’s go back to Sam. Here is her journal entry.
Sam’s Current Model
Circumstances
I hurt my back and have been told to rest in order to get better. The scale is up three pounds, cutting into the 12 pounds I lost over the last year.
Thoughts
I must exercise more in order to fight the weight gain. I need to change my strategy with food. I need to restrict. I’m too restless to tolerate sitting, lying still and resting. Yes, there are some “non-scale victories” in my behavior, but they don’t count because the scale is up. I’m going to regain the whole 12 pounds. I’m bad. I’m doing it wrong. I thought I had resolved these crazy feelings about the scale!
Feelings
panic, frustration, embarrassment
Actions
I’m drinking more wine. I’m experimenting with fasting. I’m walking more even though I’m in pain.
Results
Probably slowed down my back recovery. No change in the higher scale reading. Spending a lot of time obsessing instead of thinking healing, comforting thoughts for the sake of my back.
Sam’s Intentional Model
Circumstances
the same
Thoughts
This is a temporary setback, both athletically and on the scale.
My body wants to heal itself and I can help it with my actions.
Stay the course.
I’ve handled challenges before with great success and I can do the same now.
Feelings
relief, calm, self-respect, a little sadness (for the me I was punishing by increasing my back pain by too much activity)
Actions
more time spent reclining, breathing, meditating, sitting in a hot tub, gently swimming. Keep up with my usual healthy eating.
Results
more healing of my back, quicker rebound off the weight gain because of higher self-esteem
There you have it! Try this method for yourself and let me know how it works for you!
Let’s talk. I can help!
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